Week 13

My goals last week were good.  I've been benefitted by having extra activities or extensions of what the kids are learning in my mind and at the ready for if there's extra time.

My new goals for this week were to pray for the Spirit to just lead me and flow through me as I teach.  I've been praying that God would just activate the gifts he's placed in me for his glory.  I realize more than ever that if this is a calling from Him, then I need to humble myself and be willing to be weak.  To realize that he's the one that is giving me everything I need to be a teacher.  I've been praying that his love would flow through me as I teach.  And honestly, if that sounds uber spiritual, I'm sorry.  I just realize how weak I truly am and how much I really need him, every day for everything.

I've been humbled and taught many things throughout this experience, and I'm still learning.  One word I would use to describe this week is miraculous.  God has taken the reigns this week and somewhere along the way, I feel like a switch turned on.  I felt it during some lessons, and my teacher even started leaving way more.  I think she felt it too.  God is with me, and I have been enjoying the kids, and what I'm teaching, and I don't take any credit... If I do take credit it's mostly for my weaknesses.

My daily interactions with my students (being that they come from diverse backgrounds: Arabic, Polish, Mexican, Caucasian, etc.) continue to help me realize how much language, culture, family, and community values have an impact on their learning.  It impacts everything, down to how they think and what they think about certain topics.  It is a factor that can be attributed to why they understand certain mainstream cultural things and why they don't. 

I'm so touched by learning more and more about these kiddos.  Learning about their parents and home backgrounds just causes me to want to pray for these kids, and to create a safe and fun environment, a community for them to work and learn in.  I understand that a huge factor on some of their lives is the fact that many of their parents are very young.  When teaching such a diverse group, I have realized in the moment (those moments when I need to think on my feet in front of them) that their experiences and perspectives are not going to be my shared experiences. 

This week I tried to be sensitive to cultural diversity during one of their arts activities.  I played them some music while they were cutting and pasting and tried to get them into a festive mood.  I chose songs that did not bring up Christmas.  I chose songs like Let it Snow and Jingle Bell Rock (by the chipmunks).  The kids know them, but I felt this was helping diversity because some of the Arabic kids don't celebrate Christmas, but celebrate EID.  I didn't want to promote one holiday over another one, and that is why I tried to choose neutral songs, things that would sing about winter/snowy things.  I don't feel that I denied my faith in anyway by doing this.  I really took time to think it over.  I think this is appropriate because in my own heart, I feel like that American Christmas is crazy.  It's presents, gifts, and people overspending.  I don't think any nonbeliever is going to see Christ just because I play a song that has the word Christmas in it.  I think they will experience Christ if I'm a Spirit filled teacher who lives and gives out the grace and love that God's given me.  (I'm not sure if I'm right, but I feel like my heart is in the right place, so to each their own perspective I suppose.)

I've been trying to design my instruction appropriate to the students' needs by choosing an activity or assessment, and then depending on their response to it (confusion, or instant grasp of the concept), I move forward and make decisions on what type of activities we should do next.  It helps me to decide if we need to stick to the same topic for another day, or if we're free to review other topics that we've previously learned.  Every day reflection is such a huge part of how I think through this process.  And I'm reflecting into the night.  I have found that teaching isn't something that you leave when you sign out at 3:15 or 4:00 or whenever. 

My cooperating teacher respects the diversity of students and families by acknowledging the fact that certain students celebrate EID and others celebrate Christmas.  I think that it helps the kids not feel weird or different.  The kids just feel like a little community, and no one is treated badly for their differing celebrations.

Things are winding down, and next week I should be teaching half days.  I will be observing a little, but teaching Monday & Tuesday.  The school musical is Wednesday and Thursday, so they'll be easy days.  I plan on enjoying the kids as much as I can, and I hope my cooperating teacher's goal is the same. 

In response to the discord that's been going on in my placement, I have to say that since this switch has been turned on, it's been like a source of life.  I feel like it just came out of nowhere.  The fear is gone.  My hands may still shake but I'm feeling more confident and enjoying these kids.  The lessons and discussions come easier and I'm sure it might baffle or surprise someone who thought that I'd never get past my lack of confidence.  And I guess this is my only explanation.

I Corinthians 1:27
"But God chose the foolish things of the world that he might put to shame those who are wise. God chose the weak things of the world, that he might put to shame the things that are strong."

In spite of any struggle or weakness that I've had, in my weakness God's been strong and he's the one whose going to put me in the teaching position that he wants me to be in.  Done.  It's pretty awesome to see the completion of an awesome goal. 

Which reminds me, it's so entirely true...

"Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof: and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit." Eph 7:8

Week 13: Done      :)